I seem to be plagued lately by people telling me to smile. This happened to me on pretty much a daily basis when I was a kid and continued until I was sixteen or so. It only happened to me occasionally after that, and usually in the grocery store, of all places. It seems to be mostly, but not exclusively, older males. But these days, it seems to be happening to me quite frequently. I'm not sure why this is.
It always enrages me when people tell me to smile. Why should I? I smile when I chose to. Just because I'm not smiling, it doesn't mean I'm not happy, and even if I'm not happy, what's the problem with that? I feel how I feel, and if you don't like it, it's not my problem. Why should a complete stranger think they have the right to tell me how to act and feel? I'm not going to pretend to be happy just to please some random asshole.
Other than the annoyance factor in all this, I am never sure what to say to these people. I have tried a variety of things, including:
- ignoring the person (doesn't work)
- telling them not to tell me what to do (I usually get the response "but I wasn't!" - um, yeah you were!)
- telling them to fuck off/kiss my ass
- saying "why should I?"
- and if the person is being particularly nasty, I tell them someone in my family has just died
Does anyone have this problem? Why does this seem to be mostly males telling me to smile?
I get it all the time.
ReplyDeleteIt's always men telling me to 'cheer up love, it might never happen'
I mean what? really?
One even said: 'it could be worse, you could be married to a bastard like me'
I really don't get it.
Maybe we both haave sad looking relaxed/neutral faces?
I just ignore people. Sometimes I'm very tempted to tell them my nan died though!
Not that I'm pleased that you're also dealing with this, it does comfort me a little that I'm not the only one this happens to. I've been told my neutral face looks angry, more than anything, but I guess that could be interpreted as sadness. I still don't understand why random people care so much about whether or not I'm smiling.
DeleteMaybe I'll say "I'll smile when I don't have to deal with jerks like you!"
Look them in the eye, for an uncomfortable length of time, raise one eyebrow slightly and lower the other, narrow your eyelids, and ask, in the deadest voice possible...
ReplyDelete"Why?"
Usually works for me. If they press me further, I bare my teeth in the most grim sort of imitation of a smile possible.
Ooooh, baring my teeth sounds good. I might growl a little too.
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DeleteOooh, good response, Tante! It happens to me, too, perpetrated by that same demographic of older dudes. I think its a weird power trip. Perhaps they've list their mojo and ordering people to smile makes them feel more powerful. I am one of the few female mountain bikers around here and those old men hikers making the stupidest comments about it.
ReplyDeleteI agree that it's a power trip for them, and probably in a weird twisted way, they consider it a compliment ("smile, it will make you pretty!").
DeleteSorry the males are giving you trouble over mountain biking. I'm a female programmer, so I imagine I'm dealing with some of the same crap. I get some when I go running outside, which is why I tend to stick to my treadmill. :(
On the happy side of things, I love your blog! Your costume was brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThank you! It was *a lot* of work, so I'm pleased it turned out well.
DeleteI'd be the type to super creep them out by staring and saying "I just died" or "I'm dead I can't" just to unsettle them.
ReplyDeleteI'd be the type to super creep them out by staring and saying "I just died" or "I'm dead I can't" just to unsettle them.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could come up with clever things like that on the spot.
DeleteMaybe if I just burst into tears, they'll leave me alone?